Have you ever dwelled on the differences between men and women? I had no idea that men and women could be so different that they seem to be from different planets until I read the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, by John Gray.

It is definately a fantasitic book. It reveals how men and women differ in all areas of their lives, as well as specifies how to develop or improve their relationship. It was once the manual for loving relationship in 1990s, even today.

I’m so impressed by the book that I can’t wait to share with you some of my thoughts while I’m still reading it.

Different Values

Men value power, competency, efficiency, and achievement. They are always doing things to prove themselves and develop their skills. They pride themselves in doing things on their own. Autonomy is a symbol of efficiency, power, and competence.

Women value love, communication, beauty, and relationships. As a woman, I agree in particular, these two points: feelings and counseling.

For the first point, we not only recognize things more depending on our feelings instead of analysis, but tend to share our feelings with others, whether it’s a happy feeling, a stressful feeling, or an intimidating feeling.

As for counseling, we are very involved in personal growth, spirituality, and everything that can nurture life, healing, and growth (I guess this is the result of maternity). We also like to offer unsolicited help and assistance to others, which is a sign of being considerate.

Because of their distinct values, men hate to accept unsolicited help from others, which challenges their competency. Women expect men to listen to and feel their feelings, instead of disrupting them with a solution. Women also like to change men as they are always happy to see something is being nurtured. However, this is men’s most hateful thing.

In order to develop a harmonious and lasting relationship, both men and women need to work hard.

Next time, when women are sharing their feelings, men just listen and express your empathy instead of offering any solutions to women’s feelings.

For women, never offer unsolicited help to men and giving up the thought of changing them.