You are currently browsing the monthly archive for October 2007.
Is happiness our ultimate objective of life?
No, as I mentioned in Can We Be Happy All The Time?
Life is like a roller coaster. We all experience ups and downs, highs and lows at different moments. It’s natural as happiness and unhappiness are the two ingredients in our lives.
Understanding that in mind, we wouldn’t and shouldn’t be overjoyed when happiness comes, neither would and should we be overwhelmed when unhappiness comes. We know that both of them are just temporary status and will be gone soon, that they are interdependent and one comes while the other goes.
Thus, we become carmful as they come and go, and we handle them with easiness and gentleness. We reach the state of peaceful and stable mind, which is exactly the ultimate objective of our life.
Leaders organize people in a team to achieve their common goals, rather than fight on their own.
Most leaders, or I’d rather call them the head who has the title more than nothing, complain that nobody helps him achieve the goal. What I saw is the leaders would rather possess all the resources than share with the members. They are proud to have those resources and expertise which make them feel honored.
The truth is leaders are not experts. Leaders may not be better at some subjects than the members, while they can get all the talents together and help him achieve the goal.
Therefore, leaders are not there delighted with all the resources he possesses. Leaders are supposed to identify the talents and capabilities in different people and put them into the well-fit places. This will better help leaders achieve the goal, as well as help members grow.
This Sunday morning, I’ll go for the Women 10k Running! I myself can’t imagine either as I haven’t had such a long-distance running for more than one decade!
I wanted to give myself this challenge. I wanted to see how far I could run and how exhausted I would be. I haven’t got enough running practice although I do other kinds of workout every day. One thing, however, I’m sure is that I’ll keep running during this whole journey, without walking.
I’ll tell you more after the running. Right now, I need all of you cheer for me, whether you’ll witness or not.
After reading the following several chapters, I found that different values are the fundamental and core difference between men and women, which in brief is men value competency and pride in doing things on their own while women enjoy talking about their feelings and giving unsolicited advice.
If we bear that core in mind, reactions of men and women can be easily explained and conflicts can be resolved. When it comes to coping with stress, it’s also true.
When a man gets upset he never talks about it. Instead he becomes very quiet and privately thinks about the problem. He won’t have any attention to his partner until he finds a solution. If he can’t find a solution, he’ll do something else to forget his problems, like reading the news or playing a game.
In this case, his partner will feel ignored, unimportant and unloved, especially when she is upset and wants to talk about her feelings with the man, which is a woman’s way to cope with her stress. It is often at this moment that men and women will have the argument.
At the same time, if men don’t understand that women’s talking about the feelings is just a way to relieve their stress instead of listing problems, they will feel even more frustrated and being blamed, thus may instinctly resist her talking.
What should we do to avoid the argument and conflict?
For women, try to understand that men’s ignorance is not a sign that he doesn’t love her any more. Give him some time and space to let him solve the problem by himself. Never give him advice unless he asks for. When you are stressed, before talking about your feelings, tell the man that it’s just a talking and not a solution-seeking talk, men will feel relieved and could listen with relax.
For men, try to understand that when women are talking about their feelings, they don’t intend to find a solution, neither do they blame the men. What men could do is just listening without feeling responsible for solving women’s problems. When a man is stressed, tell the woman that you need some time and private space to think about something if you have to. If you don’t want to tell her that you are stressed, listening to her without feeling responsible is also a way to distract yourself from your problems.
Have you ever thought that you yourself have a lot of hidden talent in many fields?
I thought it was impossible. And that was why I admired these great people below.
I admired Benjamin Franklin, not only because he was the one who drafted The Declaration of Independence, but he was talented in so many fields: politics, science, philosophy, music and ecnomics. He was not just interested, but a master in those fields. He was a scientist, an inventor, a statesman, a printer, a philosopher, a musician, and an economist!
I also admired Su Shi, the great ancient Chinese master in Song Dynasty. He was talented in poem, calligraphy and art.
I thought we ordinary people were definately unable to compare with them, as they were destined to be the great minds!
Do you have the same thought as I did?
The truth is every one of us has lots of hidden talent in many areas. We just don’t realize that.
The wise says, “Each of us is an iceberg. What we are is just the tip of it.”
What prevents us from being what we can be?
“I can’t do that.”
“It’s impossible.”
“It can’t be me.”
“I’ll never be like that.”
It is those “not” thoughts that kill the posibilities of discovering our talent.
We are so worried, so hesitated, and so timid.
Great minds, however, always believe that every thing is possible. They dare to think and dare to give it a try in every field they have interest.
Always keep it in mind that we, ordinary people, are talented in many fields as much as those great minds.
If you have had interest in something but never done anything about it, set a plan and try it from the next moment.
Further, free yourself to try every opportunity. You never know what you’ll find in yourself.
I used to believe that mindset-changing is the fundamental and sole element in helping us become positive. As long as we have enough willpower, we could change our negative attitude to positive one, we could face all kinds of hardship with ease, or we could become happy all the time.
However, sometimes we are out of control of our mindset, no matter how persistent, strong and positive we are. We do need to rely a bit on outside catalysts from time to time.
Here are two catalysts that I’ve found useful.
1. Exercise.
It makes us healthier both physically and mentally. It increases blood flow, bringing more oxygen to our brain and unkinks tight muscles. More importantly, we can become happier by doing exercises.
I do exercises every day. Every time after I finish exercising, I feel relieved and more calmful. I care less about the problems confusing me before I exercise.
Stop waiting and make a plan for exercises from today!
2. Use oil.
Oils that are used when practicing Aromatherapy open up the pores of our skin and works it’s way through our system. By massaging these oils in our skin we can improve blood circulation, pain and tension.
Studies show that a good oil for aches and pains, sore muscles or insomnia is Chamomile Roman oil. Geranium or Jasmine oils are excellent to soften dry skin. Lavender can be used to help sore tired muscles and if you put a drop on your pillow case will help you get a peaceful night’s sleep.
By smelling peppermint it will help your mind and body. To help your self-confidence and nervous system, smell rose oil. Rosemary is great for tired and sore muscles. Sandlewood is good for relaxation and meditation and helps to keep the immune stem healthy too.
Oils can be found in some phamercutical stores and Aromatherapy salons. One important thing is, when choosing to practice an Aromatherapy treatment make sure to read all labels including the warning signs. These oils are very strong and can be dangerous in some situations.
Recent Comments