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Every Thursday is Leadership Day.
E.F. Hutton is a financial service company whose motto was, “When E.F. Hutton speaks, people listen.” When the real leader speaks, people listen.
The real leader is whom people want, whom people wait to hear, and whom people look to when in a meeting or any other event. The proof of the leadership is found in the followers.
There are three differences between positional leaders (PL) and real leaders (RL):
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PL speak first; RL speak later.
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PL need the influence of the real leader to get things done; RL need their own influence to get things done.
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PL influence only the other positional leaders; RL influence everyone in the room.
Don’t listen to the claims of the person, watch the reactions of the people around him. You’ll find who the real leader is.
Every Monday is Gratitude Day.
Last week, my father and sister helped me a lot in dealing with some important thing in China as I’m in Singapore and couldn’t handle it by myself. It was a troublesome task as we all hadn’t experienced it. My father went to two relating departments at least 4 times.
I appreciated their help pretty much although they thought it was no big deal as they are my family. I still sent one thank-you message to them. I’ve decided to say thank-you in person when I go back to China.
In Chinese families, family members, especially parents, feel it’s their duty to help their children no matter how old the children are. As children, we feel it is what we deserve and seldom say thank-you to them. As I grow up, I feel more and more important to show my appreciation to my parents. If we could say thank-you to them no matter how insignificant the help is, they will feel what they have done is worthwhile and contented in spite of great hardship they may have gone through. It is what we should do.
Every Thursday is Leadership Day.
This law emphasizes that leaders must be able to see the trip ahead, chart a plan to get to the destination, and remain focused on the vision.
A leader is like a navigator who starts with a vision, and then knows what it takes to reach that vision, who they will need on the team, and what obstacles to anticipate and overcome. The leader is the one who sees farthest into the future, making him the best person to guide his followers.
John Maxwell developed a strategy that he has used repeatedly in his leadership–PLAN AHEAD.
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P: Predetermine a course of action.
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L: Lay out your goals.
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A: Adjust your priorities.
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N: Notify key personnel.
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A: Allow time for acceptance.
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H: Head into action.
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E: Expect problems.
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A: Always point to the successes.
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D: Daily review your plan.
The secret of this law is preparation. When you over-prepared, you convey confidence and trust in people, lack of preparation has the opposite effect.
I was once again touched and inspired by the story of Beethoven.
Check it here. Enjoy and keep inspired!
Btw, slideshare is a very good website, you can find the outlines of many books there as well.
Every Monday is Gratitude Day.
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Gratitude helps us control anger.
Imagine if we cherish an attitude of gratitude in our heart, how can we get angry easily?
I just heard a story from a new female friend. One of her female friends got some disagreement on which way was closer with a taxi driver one day. On their way to the destination, the taxi driver was angry and kept scolding as he believed he knew the way better than she. At last, the driver sent her to another building which is named Tower 2, instead of the destination Tower 5. And he said it was her that led to the wrong tower.
Most of us may get angry and even quarrel with the driver. It’s quite normal. However, my friend’s friend said nothing but “God bless you. Have a nice day!” Then she left. The driver couldn’t believe what he had heard. Neither could we! How couldn’t she get angry? How could she even give bless to the driver? My friend told me, her friend was also unhappy, but she thought it was also the gift given by God and anger didn’t help anything. As a result, the driver apologized. A nice day really began for both of them.
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Gratitude helps us relieve anxiety.
Set a ritual for gratitude, every day or 3-4 times a week. Every time when we observe it, we close our eyes and show our appreciation to people or something, and we’ll get some moments of calmness. We appreciate not only good things, but hardships and difficulties. By thinking out ways to deal with the negative things, we relieve our mind from worrying and fearing them eventually.
Every Friday is Relationship Day.
I’ve been watching Desperate Housewives these days, and got some thoughts on lasting relationship. I found one of the most important ingredients for a long-lasting relationship is compromising.
We all have our own habits, and our own ways of seeing and doing things. There is no right or wrong standards for them. They made who we are. However, in a relationship, we may need to change our habits or ways of living a little bit.
Bree is a master in housework. She keeps everything clean and in order, and does well in every aspect, cooking, sewing, gardening, etc. Ironically, no one in her family understands her and acknowledges her efforts. She’s pathetic, not only because she failed to get understanding and support, but she does not know what is more important in relationships.
Harmony is one of the goals in a relationship. In order to get harmony, we need to give up some of our habits or ways of living sometimes. Bree doesn’t realize that it is her sticking to the unimportant trivials and perfectionism that kind of ruined her relationship. Those things are so unimportant as making our partner happy and at ease. If she could be a little compromising in her perfectionism, her relationship will definately change.
Meanwhile, Rex is sticky as well. The biggest difference between Rex and Bree’s second husband, Orson, is that Orson knows when and how to be compromising. Although sometimes outwardly and temporarily agrees with Bree, Orson knows at that moment harmony is the most important thing, instead of arguing or just expressing his opinion. Compromising is not to give up our opinions totally, instead, it’s a timing-choosing about when and how to express our different opinions. Compromising is supposed to be a win-win strategy.
What’s your opinions? You are most welcomed to share with us in the comments.
Every Thursday is Leadership Day.
In this law of leadership, John Maxwell intended to tell us two things:
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Nearly all leadship skills can be learned and improved. Everyone has the potential to become a leader.
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To acquire those skills, or to become a leader, isn’t accomplished overnight. It requires perseverance. Leadership doesn’t develop in a day; it develops daily.
There are usually four phases of development and progress for people who don’t have a great natural leadership ability.
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Phase 1: I don’t know what I don’t know.
Many people fail to recognize the value of leadership. They believe leadership is only for a few peole who are at the top of the corporate ladder.
In John Maxwell’s opinion, anyone who wants to be successful needs leadership. He mentioned in the previous laws that personal success without leadership ability brings only limited effectiveness.
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Phase 2: I know what I don’t know.
When we are placed in a leadership position and discovered there’s no one following us. Then we realize we need to learn how to lead.
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Phase 3: I grow and know and it starts to show.
When we recognize we are lack of skills and begin the daily discipline in personal growth and leadership, exciting things start to happen. Our influence increases, and so does our impact. That inspires us to keep growing.
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Phase 4: I simply go because of what I know.
When in phase 3, we can be pretty effective as a leader, but we have to think every move that we make. While getting to phase 4, our ability to lead becomes nearly automatic.
To become a leader, we absolutely can not ignore the law of the process. Leadership develops daily, not in a day.
Many a time when we are told such pep talks as “Be positive”, “Be persistent”, or ”Just do it”, without any thought we may answer, “It’s easier said than done.”
Is it really the case? Then why did many other people make it?
Have you remembered that, every time after you said or just thought it’s easier said than done, what did you do? Nothing, perhaps. We just continued our discontented life and kept complaining.
We don’t want to do it as it sounds difficult and may need a lot of efforts. “Easier said than done” becomes the best excuse for us. Deep in our heart, we want to get the result or achievement effortlessly or in a day. But as we all know, it’s not realistic. “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Every change comes little by little, day by day.
However, changes can come naturally eventually and last long if we develop them as a habit.
I used to be a very negative and vulnerable person. When I decided to change, I set two rules for myself.
First, always look forward to the good things as well as think about all the worst things that could happen. If you can give every possibility a thought and make measures accordingly, there’s nothing to worry about.
Second, if something bad really happens, find out the positive sides in it. Hardship, misfortune or failure is the best way for us to grow.
I used those two rules in every aspect of my life. At first, it was a little hard for me. Gradually, it became my habit so that I’ll always look at the positive sides when anything happens and prepare the worst. I’m much more positive and stronger today.
Everything can be achieved as long as you make efforts day by day and develop it into a habit. Nothing is easier said than done.
Every Monday is Gratitude Day.
I happened to hear this song (What Goes around Comes around)last Sunday after I read the Gratitude chapter (Chapter 7)in the book, The Science of Getting Rich.
The essence of his idea about gratitude is exactly showed in the name of the song, what goes around comes around. Wallace Wattles used action and reaction to elaborate the law of gratitude as a natural principle.
Action and reaction are always equal and in opposite directions. “Draw night unto God, and He will draw night unto you.” To fix our attention on the best is to surround ourselves with the best, and to become the best. The grateful mind is constantly fixed upon the best; therefore it tends to become the best; it takes the form or character of the best, and will receive the best.
Gratitude will lead our mind out along the ways by which things come; and it will keep us in close harmony with creative thought and prevent us from falling into competitive thought.
Gratitude is of significance at any time, even when you want to get rich.
Every Friday is Relationship Day.
It’s very interesting to know that although men and women have the same words, but the way they are used gives different meanings. The expressions are similar, but they have different connotations or emotional emphasis. It’s just like each group has its own language.
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Women’s Language
Women like to say “We never go out”, “The house is always a mess”, “No one listens to me anymore”, “You don’t love me any more“, etc.
Women tend to use various superlatives, metaphors, and generalizations when she’s upset or frustrated. But she doesn’t expect those words to be taken literally. They are just used to fully express her feelings and ask for a particular support.
However, men mistakenly take these expressions literally and misunderstand the intended meaning. He thinks she’s blaming him and commonly reacts in an unsopportive manner. Then it leads to arguments. At such times, it’s important for men to rethink or translate what they have heard and show their caring and support.
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Men’s Language
In contrast to women’s talking about feelings, men become silent when they are having problems or not sure about something. Men won’t respond until they figure things out. Even when women ask, men will only say something brief like “I’m OK”, “It’s fine”, “I’m all right”, “It’s no problem”, etc.
While women don’t understand the language of men, they think he doesn’t care about her and ignores her. Arguments may arise then. At such times, women need to think about men’s language and try not to get them to talk.
A man wants his woman to trust that he can handle his problem. He also wants her to be happy and do something enjoyable at this time so that he can has one less problem to solve.
Both men and women need to stop offering the method of caring they would prefer and start to learn the different ways their partners think, feel, and react.
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