We like to set goals. Meanwhile, we often fail to achieve them eventually. Sometimes, it’s because at the very beginning, we didn’t give our goals a clear picture. Our goals are too vague or too abstract. Think about those goals, “I don’t want to be nervous”, “I want to lose weight this year”, “I want to be positive”, etc. They are hard to achieve, aren’t they? In order to make our goals achievable, we may give a try the following method in NLP. 

1. Positively Stated: What exactly do you want?

• Make sure your goal is stated in terms of what you want, not what you don’t want.
• E.g. “I don’t want to be nervous”. Then all that you think of will be nervousness. Instead, try to set a goal like this, “I want to be carm.”
• Pick one goal at a time and elaborate it. Which goal, when attained, will have the largest influence on all the rest?

2. Control: Can you achieve this goal yourself, no matter what other people do?

• Make sure your goal is stated in a way that you get it yourself, leaving no room for blaming other people or circumstances.
• E.g. “I want to stop panicking when the audience doesn’t respond me.” We have no control over them, do we? Instead, set it like this, “I will remain in a calm and resourceful state when the audience doesn’t respond, and objectively use other well-thought-out questions to induce their involvement with me.”

3. Evidence: How will you know when you’ve got your goal?

• Imagine achieving your goal now, what will you see, hear or feel? Put yourself into the future and fully experience it. Think about the performance criteria and ongoing feedbacks.
• E.g. “I know I’ve achieved my goal when I feel confident” is not specific. The right evidence is “When I see clients asking me for an appointment after my presentation, and I hear myself answering all their questions in a calm and firm voice.”