Recently, in one of the Toastmasters Table Topics Contests, a topic was “Respect is to be earned.” It is true but I prefer “Respect is to be grown”, which sounds more proactive and shows people the way to get respect from others.

We all want to be respected. To be respected is a human need. But this need can’t be produced on its own. We must make efforts to grow respect and take care of it, until one day we can achieve the result——to be respected.

When growing the crop, we must use our heart with care and attendance. Fruits cannot be got only by using advanced machines or techniques. It’s true as for respect. Use our heart to care about each and every person around us, make them feel important and appreciated, and try our best to help them.

There’s a man (let’s call him G) respected by almost everyone in our Toastmasters club. He is respected not because he was once the district governor, but because he shows care, appreciation and support to everyone he meets.

In a conference last year, I sat near G. After the meeting, a member he hadn’t met before came to him to say goodbye. He stood up, shook hands with him, and asked his name and something about his membership. That was out of my expectation. G was so approachable as a past district governor and I could tell the member felt cared and appreciated. Making everyone feel important gives G the credit to be respected.

You can always find G for guidance and advices as well, even though you may just get to know him. A friend of mine was determined to win the speech contest last year, so he decided to get suggestions from G. Although my friend had just been to G’s club twice, G invited my friend to his office and gave him a lot of guidance and advices.

When a speech is really boring, what are you doing? Every time as long as G is in a club meeting, no one will feel ignored even though the speaker’s speech is really boring. Once during the club meeting, after G went out for an important call, a speaker began his speech. I’m sorry to admit that his speech was really boring and he wasn’t articulate at all. Few of the audience looked at him and made response. The speaker himself began to feel boring and couldn’t wait to finish his speech. After a few seconds, G came back to the room. The speaker was saying that he finally made a decision to do something and went closer to his dream, G made a “wow” and “oh, yeah”. All the other audience began to pay attention to the speaker and responded, “Great!” The speaker’s eyes suddenly glittered and said, “yes, I made that decision!” He felt being encouraged and then filled with enthusiasm to continue his speech. Appreciation and support, G gives that to everyone.

There’s no wonder that everyone G meets come to say hello to him, and there’s no wonder when he shows up the crowd cheers the most. To be respected has nothing to do with the title, but the respect for others with our heart. Grow the respect, then you’ll receive the respect.