I was not a “present” person. When I was younger, I always gazed at somewhere, pondering while I was with people. I was occupied with all the worries and problems I had on my mind. I was there physically but not mentally. Being wrapped up in my own mind and not present with those who were with me, didn’t help solve the problems at all. In fact it made me more worried.
Today, I don’t need to think if I’m present when I’m with the other person or a group. It just comes to me whenever I’m with people. It makes me so focused and get things done efficiently and effectively. I’m also happier when I’m with people as all my focus is on them, leaving no room for worry and pondering on problems.
As I reflect, here is what worked for me the most. I hope you’ll find it helpful.
- Set clear intentions before meeting people or doing any activity.
Intention here refers to be more conscious about what you want to do when interacting with others, instead of going to an occasion or event and being clueless; and what kind of mood you are going to carry.
For example, I was sharing this with a friend in Nov 2009 whom I just met back then. “Interesting. What was your intention for today’s meet-up?” My friend asked me.
“Funny you brought it up. I did set my intention before I came. It was to get to know you better, your work, what you like doing, etc. The mood I set was relaxing and fun.”
“Yeah, we sure did have fun.”
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Setting clear intentions is also what I do before I give any presentation, training or coaching sessions. I usually take 3-5 minutes in advance, drop anything, close my eyes, and think about my intentions for a particular session. One of the intentions is “To make sure the audience understand three key points and to let them learn with fun. I’m going to be very focused and observant on their understanding through facial expressions and their progress.”
It helped me be present and made almost every session I did a success.
In the longer term, that’s what makes “being present” a habit for me. Tony Robbins said, “Something once becomes a habit, it’s powerful.” I agree. Now I don’t even need to think about whether I’m present or not, when I’m with people, it just turns on like the sound of a click.
I believe the reason that setting intentions before hand works is that it sinks into our subconscious mind and guides us without us even knowing it.
Being present is powerful. When you are present, you exude energy and draw people in. Whatever line you are in, it’ll bring you success and joy.
What will you start with?
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