You are currently browsing the category archive for the 'Happiness' category.
Our mind is always in the state of thinking. Every event, happening or word has an effect on our mind, which produces thoughts accordingly. Our mind focuses on one subject for a while, then jumps to another subject, then again to another one, restlessly and ceaselessly.
We take the thinking state of our mind for granted, without knowing that we are enslaved by our own thoughts. The nature of our mind is not incessant thinking, but peace and serenity. The nature of our mind is like the clear and sunny sky, and our thoughts are the clouds. The clouds hide and drift through the sky, in one kind or another.
In order to attain inner peace, we need to take control and be the master of our mind. By controling our mind, we’ll be able to cease the incessant flow of thoughts, and decide which thought to think and which one to reject.
Here are some ways of controling our mind that I’m practicing.
- Live in the moment
Concentrate our mind on one subject at a time, easing ourselves from worrying about future or immersing in the past.
- Think positively
It’s a slow process but powerful mindset. Try to frequetly envision ourselves in a desired state or achievement.
- Practice meditation, Taichi or Yoga
Meditation, Taichi or Yoga are proved to train our mind to be focused, concentrated and calm.
Attaining inner peace is not achieved in a short period of time. It needs constant endeavor. It requires our patience and perseverance. Once we are free from worry, fear, anger, and so many other negative emotions, all efforts are worthwhile.
-
What Is Inner Peace?
Inner peace (or peace of mind) refers to a state of being mentally or spiritually at peace, with enough knowledge and understanding to keep oneself strong in the face of discord or stress.
Being “at peace” is considered by many to be healthy (homeostasis) and the opposite of being stressed or anxious. Peace of mind is generally associated with bliss and happiness.
Peace of mind, serenity and calmness are descriptions of a disposition free from the effects of stress.
-
As a Man Thinketh (by James Allen)
As a Man Thinketh is a classic self-help book, written by James Allen (1864-1912), a British philosophical writer. In the last chapter of the book, James Allen expounded senerity, calmness of mind.
A man in calmness of mind ceases to fuss, fume, worry, and grieve. He remains poised, steadfast, and serene.
A calm man has a tranquil heart, a sweet-tempered, balanced life. It does not matter whether it rains or shines, or what changes come to him, for he is always serene and calm. He makes the winds and the storms of the soul obey him.
2. Who Can Attain Inner Peace?
Any person can attain inner peace as long as he is earnest to attain it and willing to devote the necessary time and energy.
Inner peace is not the privilege of special people. It is not reserved only to yogis, hermits or monks, sitting alone in a far off place, praying or meditating all day long. It can also be attained by people living an ordinary life, who have a job, married and with children.
3. How to Attain Inner Peace?
Inner peace is independent of external conditions and circumstances. It comes from within.
James Allen, in As a Man Thinketh, believed that calmness of mind is the result of long and patient effort in self-control. Its presence is an indication of ripened experience, and of a more than ordinary knowledge of the laws and operations of thought.
Inner peace begins with transformation of our mind. When things go wrong in our life and we encounter difficult situations, we tend to regard the situation itself as the problem, but in reality whatever problems we experience come from the mind. If we were to respond to difficulties with a positive or peaceful mind, they would not be problems for us; indeed we may even come to regard them as challenges or opportunities for growth and development. Problems arise only if we respond to situations with a negative state of mind. Therefore, if we want to transform our life and be free from problems, we must learn to transform our mind. Sufferings, problems, worries, unhappiness, and pain all exist within our mind; they are all unpleasant feelings, which are part of the mind. Through controlling and purifying our mind we can stop them once and for all.
References
1. 20 Reasons Why You Need Inner Peace and Tranquility, Remez Sasson
2. Inner Peace
3. As a Man Thinketh, James Allen
Picture by oberazzi (Tim O’Brien)
I was away to Kuala Lumpur for a vacation during the past five days.
Traveling is always my first choice for vacations. This time,it gave me quite a different experience. I was in an environment where few people speak Chinese and fewer people know English. I was in an environment where most people surrounding me were with another ethnicity. It’s always a great pleasure for me to learn what kind of lives people in other places and cultures lead.
I also encountred those totally different islamic architectures and visited the islamic places of interests. I began to have a vague idea about how sacredly they regard their religion.
Meanwhile, there were some unpleasant experiences as well. Untidy streets, uncivil acts, inefficient systems, and so on. All made me cherish how civil and efficient Singapore is. Small country with wise leaders is easy to be well-managed.
Traveling is not only a change of pace, but an experience of eye-opener.
Every Monday is gratitude day.
I was a volunteer in Prison Toastmasters Speechcraft Program.
Last Saturday, in Table Topics session, I came up with a question to those prison inmates as “Is gratitude important in our lives?”
I was shocked that they had never heard of the word “gratitude”. But I don’t think it was all because they are prisoners. They are with little education and poor in English as well.
In fact, not only the prisoners, but many of my friends have never had the thought of gratitude. In their mind, gratitude equals to “thank you”. When someone helps you, you say “thank you” and that’s all. The truth is gratitude is not that insignificant.
- Gratitude is appreciation of life.
We are more likely to show our gratitude when we receive a favor from others. But what we can be grateful for is far more than that.
All that we experience every day is worth our gratitude. The pleasant weather, the blue and clear sky, a delicious meal, and a sound sleep…… The more you find that could be grateful for, the more contented you are with life. You will find life is so fascinating and full of beauty. You begin to live a life with appreciation.
- Gratitude is a positive attitude.
When we are disfavored, bothered or hurt by others, we tend to complain, get angry or revenged.
However, one coin always has two sides. Have you ever thought about the other side of the negative emotions you received from others? They give us the opportunities to learn, to grow, and to become tolerant and calmful. Shouldn’t we thank them for this?
Similarly, when we meet hardship, misfortune and stress, we should also thank them for giving us the opportunities to become brave to face them, to become determined to conquer them, and to become creative to work on the solutions. Those negative things are no more bad things, instead they become an asset for us!
Cherishing gratitude to everything, positive and negative, is sure to make us optimistic and happier.
Is happiness our ultimate objective of life?
No, as I mentioned in Can We Be Happy All The Time?
Life is like a roller coaster. We all experience ups and downs, highs and lows at different moments. It’s natural as happiness and unhappiness are the two ingredients in our lives.
Understanding that in mind, we wouldn’t and shouldn’t be overjoyed when happiness comes, neither would and should we be overwhelmed when unhappiness comes. We know that both of them are just temporary status and will be gone soon, that they are interdependent and one comes while the other goes.
Thus, we become carmful as they come and go, and we handle them with easiness and gentleness. We reach the state of peaceful and stable mind, which is exactly the ultimate objective of our life.
After establishing and keeping the habit of gratitude for some days, I’ve found that it’s quite preliminary to just list the 2~3 positive things in our life, which is the result of Gratitude 1.0 (Being thankful for all the positive things in our life).
It’s, however, far from enough. To really appreciate our life and be happy, we must as well be grateful for all the negative things, such as unhappiness, stress, hardship, failure, unfortune, so-called disgusting people, and so on, which is Gratitude 2.0.
Being grateful for all the positive things makes us value our friends and life more. While being grateful for all the negative things will make us free from complaints or frustration, focus on the positive side of life, and turn bad things into good ones.
I used to be afraid of unhappiness. When it came, I was so frustrated and couldn’t get out of it. Later, I realized unhappiness is quite normal, and it happens now and then to any one. I began to accept it and thank it for letting me know happiness and unhappiness consist of our life, for letting me calm down when it came again, and for letting me value happiness more and think out all the ways to happiness.
I also used to be afraid of stress and challenges. I felt uneasy of uncertainty. Later I realized they are also the compostion of life and make people creative. Now I can accept them calmly.
Likewise, we should thank hardship and failure for giving us the opportunities to learn and grow. When you learn to be thankful, you find how true it is that every time that you fall, you are much closer to success.
Let’s update our mind system and learn to thank all the unfavorable things as well as the favorable ones.
I should thank the unfortune that happened last week, which made me know the rules of the company, how Sinaporeans think and react and how I should communicate with them.
I should thank my uncooperative roomate for letting me know the different types of people and think how to deal with the problem properly.
I should thank my Toastmaster friend although he made me frustrated, for giving me the opportunity to think about what a good leader should do.
A good attitude of gratitude actually helps you more calmfully accept all the things in life. It’s no big deal when you encounter the negative things, just relax and learn to thank them.
I heard a lot about being grateful for every little thing before. And one of my former colleagues also told me how great he feels about being grateful for every thing.
I was wondering why we should be grateful for every thing, since some things were the results of our own hard work, and some things were meant to be there.
For example, I used to be seldom grateful for my achievement since I thought it was the result of my hard work. I used to be seldom grateful for getting to know some friends since I thought we happened to meet. I also used to be seldom grateful for the food or other things I owned since I thought I paid for them.
In the past, I only thanked my hardships and failures as I thought they made me grow and became stronger.
Changes came without being noticed.
I don’t remember when and why I’ve begun to become thankful to many things, even those I used to think they were naturally there.
I thank my friends for guiding me on my way to achieve my goals, thus I discovered another different and exciting world and life, I discovered the potential and energy deep inside me, and I’ve been living a passionate and happy life!
I thank my landcouple for providing such a good and cozy place for me that I could live happily and contentedly.
I thank my company for giving me the chance to work for them so that I could have a whole new experience in another country.
I thank the food provider for serving such delicious meals. What a wonderful chef!
I even thank destiny or God for helping me meet so many nice people.
I suddenly find there are so many things to be thanked.
As I’m filled with gratitude for many things, I feel happier when I’m with them.
Yes! Gratitude makes you happier. Gratitude makes you appreciate every thing so that there’s little room for anger, hatred, or impatience.
I’ve decided to be more grateful. Here are my plans.
1. Every day gratitude ritual. Show my gratitude for at least two things just at the moment that I open my eyes in the morning or close my eyes in the evening.
2. Get ready to show gratitude to every little thing at any time.
Let’s move forward together.
To your disappointment, the answer is “definitely not”.Even if you are regarded as a happy person on the whole, you’ve still got sometime when you are unhappy and feeling sad. Let alone normal people who often have ups and downs.
If so, do we still need to look for happiness?
Definitely.
In my opinion, being happy is more like having a wise opinion towards life, rather than just a state of mind. To seek happiness is not to look for fun in life, but to seek a balanced life.
What does a balanced life look like?
Some of the important factors contributing to a balanced life are: optimistic, positive, lenient, patient and unruffled quality.
The good news is, those qualities can be learned. Therefore, we all can live a happy life although we may not be happy all the time.
What are the keys to a balanced life?
I’ve got some sources of that, and would like to share with you in the future one by one.
What are your keys to a balanced life? Maybe you can write it down here and we can talk about it.
Recent Comments