Power of Visualisation

“Our brain can’t tell the difference between what is real and what is visualised.”

I was amazed by this saying when I heard it. If we visualise what we want to achieve so vividly and so often that we could absolutely achieve it some day! When we visualise our dream/goal, subconsciously our brain will guide us to find a way to make it come true. Visualisation strengthens our belief and determination to achieve our dream/goal.

Craig Valentine, 1999 Toastmasters World Champion, once mentioned, he visualised so many times the scene where he was standing on the Contest stage and won the championship that he became so convinced he would definately win the Contest.

When I was preparing for the entrance examination for my postgraduate study to another top university, I visualised myself walking in the campus and studying in the classroom during my visit to the university despite that most of my college classmates laughed at me to have such a seemingly unachievable goal and they all doubted me. After I came back from  the visit, I found I became so convinced that there’ll be no doubt I would study there the next year, and I became so determined that nothing stopped me from working hard to pass the exam. Everything paid off the next year. I finally walked in the campus as a student there and studying in its several classrooms.

The power of visualisation is beyond our imagination! It makes the future dream/goal come true in our mind first, then helps us achieve it physically by all means. If we truly believe it, we could make almost every dream/ goal come true.

Most of the times, our problem is that we ourselves limit our own belief in ourselves and what we can accomplish, isn’t it? How many of us dare to visualise the scene in which we are living in our dream/goal? Long before we visualise, we tell ourselves, ”Oh, forget it, it’s never gonna be achieved.” Or “don’t make fool of myself, it’s never gonna happen.”

What we do not know is that visualisation is the first step in achieving any dream/goal. It gives us faith and helps us find a way to achieve our dream/goal.

What is the dream/goal you crave to achieve? Close your eyes and visualise you are living in that dream/goal on a regular basis.

(Above is the picture of my university^_^)

Free From Thoughts–Attain Inner Peace

Our mind is always in the state of thinking. Every event, happening or word has an effect on our mind, which produces thoughts accordingly. Our mind focuses on one subject for a while, then jumps to another subject, then again to another one, restlessly and ceaselessly.

We take the thinking state of our mind for granted, without knowing that we are enslaved by our own thoughts. The nature of our mind is not incessant thinking, but peace and serenity. The nature of our mind is like the clear and sunny sky, and our thoughts are the clouds. The clouds hide and drift through the sky, in one kind or another.

In order to attain inner peace, we need to take control and be the master of our mind. By controling our mind, we’ll be able to cease the incessant flow of thoughts, and decide which thought to think and which one to reject.

Here are some ways of controling our mind that I’m practicing.

• Live in the moment

         Concentrate our mind on one subject at a time, easing ourselves from worrying about future or immersing in the past.

• Think positively

         It’s a slow process but powerful mindset. Try to frequetly envision ourselves in a desired state or achievement.

• Practice meditation, Taichi or Yoga

         Meditation, Taichi or Yoga are proved to train our mind to be focused, concentrated and calm.

Attaining inner peace is not achieved in a short period of time. It needs constant endeavor. It requires our patience and perseverance. Once we are free from worry, fear, anger, and so many other negative emotions, all efforts are worthwhile.

How to Make Our Goals Achievable (3)

7. Ecology: What will you gain or lose in achieving this goal?

• Will you lose anything that you now have by achieving this goal? This means thinking about your goal in a holistic sense, including its effects on your other goals, other areas of your life and how it might affect other people you care for.
• E.g. “Am I ready for a promotion as I become a competent presenter?” “How will my success affect my current working buddies?” “I will need to spend more time and money on this endeavor, which will mean lesser time for myself and my family, am I prepared for it?”

8. Worthwhile: What will achieving this outcome get for you? Or what is so important to you about achieving this outcome?

• When we are clear about how our outcome will fulfill the important things that we value, we will obviously be more motivated to do it.

9. Action: What and when is your first step in getting this goal into motion?

• Knowing what to do is not as important as doing what you know. Break your goal down to manageable steps and take action now.
• E.g. “I’ve got to go now, and fill up the registration form for the Trainer’s training.” 

Those 9 steps are sure to make your goals achievable as they help you write out your goal in detail, think about the prevetions, and set a definite date and a clear action plan, which lead you step by step to your goal. Let’s act on them and act now!

How to Make Our Goals Achievable (2)

4. Context: Where, When & with Whom do you want it?

• Under what situations do I want to use this outcome? Do I want this outcome “all” the time? With whom do I want it? When do I want this outcome to materialize?
• E.g. “When I see myself in a conference or seminar room, I will wak tall and project my voice with calmness and clarity. I am confident, for I have studied all the necessary information and arranged all the presentation materials.”

5. Preventing: What stops you from already having your goal?

• Knowing what usually stops you from achieving your goal helps you formulate strategies to overcome it and become aware of those potholes.
• E.g. “Setting out the right amount of time to prepare all the necessary arrangements and rehearse my presentation.

6. Resources: What resources do you already have that will assist ou in reaching your goal? What other resources do you need?

• Find existing resources——”I can make full use of the experiences from my past presentations. And I already know what mistakes to avoid and what important points to emphasize. I can learn from John who has years of experience in this sort of presentation.”
• Additional resources——”I need to find ways to have full control of my voice and build a solid belief that I’ve got what it takes to succeed.” “I want to join the Trainer’s Course to learn advanced skills and create opportunities for me to practice.”

How to Make Our Goals Achievable (1)

We like to set goals. Meanwhile, we often fail to achieve them eventually. Sometimes, it’s because at the very beginning, we didn’t give our goals a clear picture. Our goals are too vague or too abstract. Think about those goals, “I don’t want to be nervous”, “I want to lose weight this year”, “I want to be positive”, etc. They are hard to achieve, aren’t they? In order to make our goals achievable, we may give a try the following method in NLP. 

1. Positively Stated: What exactly do you want?

• Make sure your goal is stated in terms of what you want, not what you don’t want.
• E.g. “I don’t want to be nervous”. Then all that you think of will be nervousness. Instead, try to set a goal like this, “I want to be carm.”
• Pick one goal at a time and elaborate it. Which goal, when attained, will have the largest influence on all the rest?

2. Control: Can you achieve this goal yourself, no matter what other people do?

• Make sure your goal is stated in a way that you get it yourself, leaving no room for blaming other people or circumstances.
• E.g. “I want to stop panicking when the audience doesn’t respond me.” We have no control over them, do we? Instead, set it like this, “I will remain in a calm and resourceful state when the audience doesn’t respond, and objectively use other well-thought-out questions to induce their involvement with me.”

3. Evidence: How will you know when you’ve got your goal?

• Imagine achieving your goal now, what will you see, hear or feel? Put yourself into the future and fully experience it. Think about the performance criteria and ongoing feedbacks.
• E.g. “I know I’ve achieved my goal when I feel confident” is not specific. The right evidence is “When I see clients asking me for an appointment after my presentation, and I hear myself answering all their questions in a calm and firm voice.”

Understand Others Better (4)

Digital Auditories

• I make important decisions based on precise review and study of the issues.
• During an argument, I’m most likely to be influenced by the logic of the other person’s argument.
• I most easily communicate what is going on with me by the words I chose.
• It’s easier for me to select the most intellectually relevant point in an interesting subject.
• I’m very adept at making sense of new facts and data.
• I treasure moments of inner reflection.
• I need to go “inside” and rationalize with myself about most new learnings.
• I have an analytical mind talks to itself frequently.
• Quiet moments of inner self-talk is essential for me to make a good decision.
• I tend to detach myself from others to evaluate them accurately.
• The quietness of a car is important, as it allows me to hear myself think.
• I love the challenge of answering my own questions inwardly.
• I usually have to talk to myself internally until I sense the right name of a person.
• I learn best when I can analyze things by reasoning with myself.
• I tend to dissociate myself from others to make better judgements logically.
• I exercise so that I can hear myself say “Awesome”!
• I like a house with rooms that are quiet enough for self-evaluation.
• My abilities in logical reasoning are well known among my friends.
• I like reading thought-provoking books that encourages me to reason with myself.

You may find that you can pick out descriptions that suit you in each of those four types. It’s quite normal as our behaviors are generated from a mixture of internal and external sense experiences. We can have a mixture of those types at the same time and they are not mutually exclusive.

However, we do tend to use one or two internal senses (visual, auditory, kinesthetic or digital auditory sense) habitually or naturally, and they have become smooth and distinguished. This is called our Preferred Representational System (PRS) in NLP.

Understand Others Better (3)

Kinesthetics

• I make important decisions based on gut level feelings.
• During an argument, I’m most likely to be influenced by whether or not I’m in touch with the other person’s true feelings.
• I most easily communicate what is going on with me by the feelings I share.
• It’s easier for me to select the most comfortable furniture.
• I’m very sensitive to the way articles of clothing feel on my body.
• I felt compelled to dance to good music.
• I tend to answer questions using my gut feelings.
• I have a keen sense of touching and feeling things.
• I find myself holding or touching things as they are being explained.
• The way others shake hands with me means a lot to me.
• I like a car that feels good when I drive in it.
• I tend to touch people when I’m talking.
• I can’t remember what people look like, however I usually have a familiar feeling that I’ve met them before.
• I like to participate in activities rather than watch.
• I feel positive or negative towards others, sometimes without knowing why.
• I exercise because of the way I feel afterward.
• It’s all important to me that a house feels cozy and comfortable.
• I’ve been told that I’m well-coordinated.
• I like hands on do-it-yourself activities.

Understant Others Better (2)

Auditories

• I make important decisions based on which way sounds the best.
• During an argument, I’m most likely to be influenced by the other person’s tone of voice.
• I most easily communicate what is going on with me by my tone of voice.
• It’s easier for me to find the ideal volume and tuning on a stereo system.
• I’m very attuned to the sounds fo my surroundings.
• I love to listen to music.
• I would rather take an oral test than a written one.
• I’ve been told that I have a great speaking voice.
• I can resolve problems more quickly when I talk aloud t myself.
• I can usually determine sincerity by the tonality of a person’s voice.
• I can hear even the slightest noise that my car makes.
• Others tell me that I’m easy to talk to.
• I’m fairly aware of what voices sound like on the phone, as well as face to face.
• I would rather have an idea explained to me than to read it.
• I’m patient in waiting for others to finish their sentence.
• I exercise because I love the compliments others are giving me.
• It’s crucial that my house is conducive for music listening.
• I like to match the way people talk.
• I really enjoy having interesting conversations with my friends.

Understand Others Better (1)

In order to let you better understand the NLP concepts in my last few posts, I’d like to give some examples for each of the representational systems. Your discussion is welcomed in the comments.

Visuals

• I make important decisions based on what looks best to me.
• During an argument, I’m most likely to be influenced by whether or not I can see the other person’s point of view.
• I most easily communicate what is going on with me by the way I dress and look.
• It’s easier for me to select rich, attractive color combinations.
• I have a strong response to colors and the way a room looks.
• I enjoy viewing art galleries and window shopping.
• I get very irritated when there’s no clear visual aids.
• My confidence increases when I look good.
• I would rather be shown an illustration than have something explained to me.
• I find that I’m able to accurately sum up others just by their appearance.
• It is important that my car is kept neat and clean, inside and out.
• I enjoy “people watching”.
• I often remember what someone looked like, but not remember the person’s name.
• I enjoy seminars more if they use powerful visual aids.
• I find myself judging others by their facial expressions.
• I work out consistently to stay in good shape.
• It’s important that my house is clean and tidy, it gives me a picture of orderliness.
• I made a list of things I need to do each day.
• I like to go the movies or watch TV.

How to Understand Others and Improve Communication (4)

We use all the 3 primary Representational Systems (visual, auditory, kinesthetic) all the time, although we are not equally aware of them all, and we tend to favor some over others.

For example, many people have an inner voice that runs in the auditory system creating an internal dialogue. They rehearse arguments and speeches, make up replies and generally talk things over with themselves. This is known as Auditory Digital system. As it is distinct from the basic auditory system, it is picked out in particular.

A. Characteristics Generalizations

• Head: lean to one side, resting on their hand or fist. This is known as a “telephone position”.
• Breathe: shallow and restricted.
• Little eye contact, sometimes seem to look through you.
• Voice: little vocal variations, talk in monotone.
• Choice of words: experience, understand, think etc.
• Move lips while in deep thought.
• Gestures: little, stationary.
• Keep a distance to disconnect an analyze things.
• More dissoiated in their experience.
• Challenge: external sensory awareness.
• General appearance: neat, functional, down to earth.

B. How to Create Rapport with Auditory Digital People

• Illustrations: give them plenty of time to look through; presentation kits, graphs, charts, pictures and include more write-ups.
• Use digital descriptive words, like think, opinion, understand, know; help them make sense with a systematic approach.
• Match their speaking tone.
• They learn best through reading and analysis: provide them ample factual and logical information; give them time to think things through.
• Give them the details first: organize information and present it step by step; give them time to “talk to themselves”; engage their thinking with you by asking factual questions.
• Encourage them to discuss what they are thinking: let them backtrack what you have just said; engage their senses in your presentation.
• Get eye contact from them.
• Give them space.

This is the end of the Representational System topic. People are always richer than generalizations about them. These generalizations must be checked against observation and experience.