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Photo by Martin Heigan
After half a year, everything is finally kinda settled down.
A lot of things happened in the past six months. Quitting the job, becoming jobless and hopeless, encountering a turning point, struggling to adapt to it……
I often think, after so many difficulties, there’ll be nothing that could beat me down. It reminds me of the song Thank You For Hearing Me from Sinead O’Connor, which says “Thank you for tearing me apart, now I have a strong strong heart”. The more hardships we experience, the stronger we become. No matter what will happen in the future, I’ll face it with a smile and confidence, with the belief that everything can be conquered with my strong will and faith.
I’ve travelled to a lot of places. During these trips, I’ve seen a sprout growing out of a rock. I was striked by the strong will to survive, even from a small plant. The strongest thing in the world is not the rock or stone, but our willpower to survive.
There are other hundreds of difficulties ahead, while I’ll march forward fearlessly with a peaceful mind that could empower me, and with gratitude from those who lent me a hand when I was in difficulty.
“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” — Buddha
- What is “Live in the Moment”?
All of our unhappiness, be it sorrow, depression, frustration, fear or anger, results from hovering in the past or worrying about the future. Many a time, we forget what we can control for ourselves is here and now. We cannot change what has happened in the past, either can we tell what may or may not happen in the future.
“Live in the Moment” is to focus on what we are doing here and now. Without immersing ourselves in what has happened in the past, we’ll have no regret; without worrying about what may or may not happen in the future, we’ll have no anxiety.
- How to Live in the Moment?
- One thought at a time
Our mind is full of thoughts. Turn off the thoughts that are irrelevant with what you are doing right now.
2. Midfulness-practice
Focus our mind on what we are doing. Have the awareness in all our actions. Whether we are listening to the music, eating a banana, or washing dishes, immerse ourselves into every movement we make. We are not thinking about the appointment, the meeting, or the phonecall. We are fully living in the moment.
3. Meditation
Regular meditation will help us become focused. The meditation I’m practicing is to focus on my breath.
Our mind is always in the state of thinking. Every event, happening or word has an effect on our mind, which produces thoughts accordingly. Our mind focuses on one subject for a while, then jumps to another subject, then again to another one, restlessly and ceaselessly.
We take the thinking state of our mind for granted, without knowing that we are enslaved by our own thoughts. The nature of our mind is not incessant thinking, but peace and serenity. The nature of our mind is like the clear and sunny sky, and our thoughts are the clouds. The clouds hide and drift through the sky, in one kind or another.
In order to attain inner peace, we need to take control and be the master of our mind. By controling our mind, we’ll be able to cease the incessant flow of thoughts, and decide which thought to think and which one to reject.
Here are some ways of controling our mind that I’m practicing.
- Live in the moment
Concentrate our mind on one subject at a time, easing ourselves from worrying about future or immersing in the past.
- Think positively
It’s a slow process but powerful mindset. Try to frequetly envision ourselves in a desired state or achievement.
- Practice meditation, Taichi or Yoga
Meditation, Taichi or Yoga are proved to train our mind to be focused, concentrated and calm.
Attaining inner peace is not achieved in a short period of time. It needs constant endeavor. It requires our patience and perseverance. Once we are free from worry, fear, anger, and so many other negative emotions, all efforts are worthwhile.
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What Is Inner Peace?
Inner peace (or peace of mind) refers to a state of being mentally or spiritually at peace, with enough knowledge and understanding to keep oneself strong in the face of discord or stress.
Being “at peace” is considered by many to be healthy (homeostasis) and the opposite of being stressed or anxious. Peace of mind is generally associated with bliss and happiness.
Peace of mind, serenity and calmness are descriptions of a disposition free from the effects of stress.
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As a Man Thinketh (by James Allen)
As a Man Thinketh is a classic self-help book, written by James Allen (1864-1912), a British philosophical writer. In the last chapter of the book, James Allen expounded senerity, calmness of mind.
A man in calmness of mind ceases to fuss, fume, worry, and grieve. He remains poised, steadfast, and serene.
A calm man has a tranquil heart, a sweet-tempered, balanced life. It does not matter whether it rains or shines, or what changes come to him, for he is always serene and calm. He makes the winds and the storms of the soul obey him.
2. Who Can Attain Inner Peace?
Any person can attain inner peace as long as he is earnest to attain it and willing to devote the necessary time and energy.
Inner peace is not the privilege of special people. It is not reserved only to yogis, hermits or monks, sitting alone in a far off place, praying or meditating all day long. It can also be attained by people living an ordinary life, who have a job, married and with children.
3. How to Attain Inner Peace?
Inner peace is independent of external conditions and circumstances. It comes from within.
James Allen, in As a Man Thinketh, believed that calmness of mind is the result of long and patient effort in self-control. Its presence is an indication of ripened experience, and of a more than ordinary knowledge of the laws and operations of thought.
Inner peace begins with transformation of our mind. When things go wrong in our life and we encounter difficult situations, we tend to regard the situation itself as the problem, but in reality whatever problems we experience come from the mind. If we were to respond to difficulties with a positive or peaceful mind, they would not be problems for us; indeed we may even come to regard them as challenges or opportunities for growth and development. Problems arise only if we respond to situations with a negative state of mind. Therefore, if we want to transform our life and be free from problems, we must learn to transform our mind. Sufferings, problems, worries, unhappiness, and pain all exist within our mind; they are all unpleasant feelings, which are part of the mind. Through controlling and purifying our mind we can stop them once and for all.
References
1. 20 Reasons Why You Need Inner Peace and Tranquility, Remez Sasson
2. Inner Peace
3. As a Man Thinketh, James Allen
Picture by oberazzi (Tim O’Brien)
There are two purposes or types of meditation. The first as well as basic one is to reach the peaceful state in our mind. The second one is to become wise. I’m now learning at the first stage.
The general posture for meditation is sitting. We can sit on a cushion with our back straight and eyes closed. We may make our legs crossed or one leg bending while the other stretching. Two hands cross on the thighs with arms naturally falling down. The posture rules do not need obeying strictly, but the point is to find a posture which makes you feel refreshed and relaxed.
In order to get the peace, we concentrate all our focus on our breath. Feel our breath coming in and going out. My teacher also suggested that people can focus on the movement of their stomach while breathing, instead of on the breath which is harder to follow. This is said to be able to help avoid breathing intentionally and distracting your concentration.
However, to me it’s just the opposite works! I prefer to feel the breath as following the movement of my stomach could make me breathe intentionally and totally distract my concentration. So I think it depends. The point is to choose a way which makes you feel comfortable and helps you concentrate.
Is happiness our ultimate objective of life?
No, as I mentioned in Can We Be Happy All The Time?
Life is like a roller coaster. We all experience ups and downs, highs and lows at different moments. It’s natural as happiness and unhappiness are the two ingredients in our lives.
Understanding that in mind, we wouldn’t and shouldn’t be overjoyed when happiness comes, neither would and should we be overwhelmed when unhappiness comes. We know that both of them are just temporary status and will be gone soon, that they are interdependent and one comes while the other goes.
Thus, we become carmful as they come and go, and we handle them with easiness and gentleness. We reach the state of peaceful and stable mind, which is exactly the ultimate objective of our life.
After establishing and keeping the habit of gratitude for some days, I’ve found that it’s quite preliminary to just list the 2~3 positive things in our life, which is the result of Gratitude 1.0 (Being thankful for all the positive things in our life).
It’s, however, far from enough. To really appreciate our life and be happy, we must as well be grateful for all the negative things, such as unhappiness, stress, hardship, failure, unfortune, so-called disgusting people, and so on, which is Gratitude 2.0.
Being grateful for all the positive things makes us value our friends and life more. While being grateful for all the negative things will make us free from complaints or frustration, focus on the positive side of life, and turn bad things into good ones.
I used to be afraid of unhappiness. When it came, I was so frustrated and couldn’t get out of it. Later, I realized unhappiness is quite normal, and it happens now and then to any one. I began to accept it and thank it for letting me know happiness and unhappiness consist of our life, for letting me calm down when it came again, and for letting me value happiness more and think out all the ways to happiness.
I also used to be afraid of stress and challenges. I felt uneasy of uncertainty. Later I realized they are also the compostion of life and make people creative. Now I can accept them calmly.
Likewise, we should thank hardship and failure for giving us the opportunities to learn and grow. When you learn to be thankful, you find how true it is that every time that you fall, you are much closer to success.
Let’s update our mind system and learn to thank all the unfavorable things as well as the favorable ones.
I should thank the unfortune that happened last week, which made me know the rules of the company, how Sinaporeans think and react and how I should communicate with them.
I should thank my uncooperative roomate for letting me know the different types of people and think how to deal with the problem properly.
I should thank my Toastmaster friend although he made me frustrated, for giving me the opportunity to think about what a good leader should do.
A good attitude of gratitude actually helps you more calmfully accept all the things in life. It’s no big deal when you encounter the negative things, just relax and learn to thank them.
I heard a lot about being grateful for every little thing before. And one of my former colleagues also told me how great he feels about being grateful for every thing.
I was wondering why we should be grateful for every thing, since some things were the results of our own hard work, and some things were meant to be there.
For example, I used to be seldom grateful for my achievement since I thought it was the result of my hard work. I used to be seldom grateful for getting to know some friends since I thought we happened to meet. I also used to be seldom grateful for the food or other things I owned since I thought I paid for them.
In the past, I only thanked my hardships and failures as I thought they made me grow and became stronger.
Changes came without being noticed.
I don’t remember when and why I’ve begun to become thankful to many things, even those I used to think they were naturally there.
I thank my friends for guiding me on my way to achieve my goals, thus I discovered another different and exciting world and life, I discovered the potential and energy deep inside me, and I’ve been living a passionate and happy life!
I thank my landcouple for providing such a good and cozy place for me that I could live happily and contentedly.
I thank my company for giving me the chance to work for them so that I could have a whole new experience in another country.
I thank the food provider for serving such delicious meals. What a wonderful chef!
I even thank destiny or God for helping me meet so many nice people.
I suddenly find there are so many things to be thanked.
As I’m filled with gratitude for many things, I feel happier when I’m with them.
Yes! Gratitude makes you happier. Gratitude makes you appreciate every thing so that there’s little room for anger, hatred, or impatience.
I’ve decided to be more grateful. Here are my plans.
1. Every day gratitude ritual. Show my gratitude for at least two things just at the moment that I open my eyes in the morning or close my eyes in the evening.
2. Get ready to show gratitude to every little thing at any time.
Let’s move forward together.
Some negative mindsets have been annoying me these past few days.
I thought I had got much improvement on getting a peaceful mind, which turned out to be a kind of illusion. In fact, those negative mindsets have been there all along, and they were merely covered by the temporary happiness resulted from idleness.
I falesly thought they were the same. The truth is, temporary happiness is different from peace in mind. Being happy doesn’t mean I’ve got a peaceful mind. I’ve still got a long way to go. Meanwhile, I should not deny my progress in being positive. Just as I said, they are different things, and they should be improved side by side.
<Impatience>
I found I’m too easy to get angry. Mostly, it is the result of my impatience.
Patience can be understood or defined in different ways. In my dictionary, it means the mindset that is eager for the result, the intolerability of process. Someone impatient needs things to happen immediately. They can be furious about the long and tedious process. Comparatively, they may be incredibly patient with someone with slow mind and keep explaining and talking to him. I think it’s more out of respect. So from the former definition, I’m an impatient person.
Impatience can make you very angry and frustrated. I haven’t found a way to improve. Maybe likewise, I should show respect to those processes as well as I did to slow people. Understand every thing needs a process. Some ever say, process itself is beautiful. Maybe. I haven’t found and enjoyed that.
I’ll do some researches and discussed with you in the future.
If you have good suggestions, leave them in the comment.
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