You are currently browsing the category archive for the 'Self Improvement' category.
“Our brain can’t tell the difference between what is real and what is visualised.”
I was amazed by this saying when I heard it. If we visualise what we want to achieve so vividly and so often that we could absolutely achieve it some day! When we visualise our dream/goal, subconsciously our brain will guide us to find a way to make it come true. Visualisation strengthens our belief and determination to achieve our dream/goal.
Craig Valentine, 1999 Toastmasters World Champion, once mentioned, he visualised so many times the scene where he was standing on the Contest stage and won the championship that he became so convinced he would definately win the Contest.
When I was preparing for the entrance examination for my postgraduate study to another top university, I visualised myself walking in the campus and studying in the classroom during my visit to the university despite that most of my college classmates laughed at me to have such a seemingly unachievable goal and they all doubted me. After I came back from the visit, I found I became so convinced that there’ll be no doubt I would study there the next year, and I became so determined that nothing stopped me from working hard to pass the exam. Everything paid off the next year. I finally walked in the campus as a student there and studying in its several classrooms.
The power of visualisation is beyond our imagination! It makes the future dream/goal come true in our mind first, then helps us achieve it physically by all means. If we truly believe it, we could make almost every dream/ goal come true.
Most of the times, our problem is that we ourselves limit our own belief in ourselves and what we can accomplish, isn’t it? How many of us dare to visualise the scene in which we are living in our dream/goal? Long before we visualise, we tell ourselves, ”Oh, forget it, it’s never gonna be achieved.” Or “don’t make fool of myself, it’s never gonna happen.”
What we do not know is that visualisation is the first step in achieving any dream/goal. It gives us faith and helps us find a way to achieve our dream/goal.
What is the dream/goal you crave to achieve? Close your eyes and visualise you are living in that dream/goal on a regular basis.
(Above is the picture of my university^_^)
Are all great ideas born completely out of one’s own independent thoughts? Does creativity solely rely on one’s intelligence? Take a look at Fredrik Haren’s book The Idea Book and you’ll get an answer.
I was lucky enough to get to listen to his talk and got a free copy of that book with his autograph! Wonderful. He mentioned some tips to getting creative ideas. I’d like to share with you two most impressive ones.
Ideas are based on a collection of information. The Idea Book itself is a good proof.
- First, the idea of writing this book came from Blue Ocean Strategy. You’ve got to find a niche market for your own thing.
His books were not sold in the bookstores, interestingly he sold them in the stationery stores as he designed the book in a way that it had half of the pages written with ideas and half with empty spaces, just like a notebook but with great ideas! No one wouldn’t love to buy such a notebook in a stationery store.
- Second, copy from the best.
Take a glimpse at the cover of this book, doesn’t it look like the cover of The Bible? Fredrik was inspired exactly by The Bible. That’s why he designed the cover of his book in that way.
Being creative and generating creative ideas is reachable, it comes from the information we’ve already had and the existing resources around us.
June 3rd, is my birthday on Chinese lunar carlendar. Then, I’ll be another step closer to the age of thirty:(
On the day when I was 20, I visualised what I would be like at the age of 30 and wrote into my diary. I guessed I might get married with a kid, and have a satisfying job, which is the regular but ideal life for most Chinese.
Looking back, none of my previous dreams has come true, haha. There’s no any regret though. In the past less than 10 years, I’ve been walking every step following my heart. I’ve come to some point that I’ve never thought of while become someone that I kind of had any idea of.
Woman at thirty is mature. She knows what is right and wrong and determined to do the right things for herself and others. She’s responsible and capable of handling everything in place, thus becomes someone who can be depended on by her family and friends once something unexpected happens.
Woman at thirty is calm and composed. She’s like a clear lake. When the sun shines on the lake, it sparkles sliently. When the wind passes by the lake, it remains poised and meanders its way. When the storm hit the lake, it does not arouse a single huge wave but does dance elegantly with the storm.
Woman at thirty is like a blossoming flower. She still has concerns, still tries to figure out the nature of many things, and keeps learning and growing.
The beauty of thirty comes from within. It’s the fruit of wisom and love, love for life and people.
“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” — Buddha
- What is “Live in the Moment”?
All of our unhappiness, be it sorrow, depression, frustration, fear or anger, results from hovering in the past or worrying about the future. Many a time, we forget what we can control for ourselves is here and now. We cannot change what has happened in the past, either can we tell what may or may not happen in the future.
“Live in the Moment” is to focus on what we are doing here and now. Without immersing ourselves in what has happened in the past, we’ll have no regret; without worrying about what may or may not happen in the future, we’ll have no anxiety.
- How to Live in the Moment?
- One thought at a time
Our mind is full of thoughts. Turn off the thoughts that are irrelevant with what you are doing right now.
2. Midfulness-practice
Focus our mind on what we are doing. Have the awareness in all our actions. Whether we are listening to the music, eating a banana, or washing dishes, immerse ourselves into every movement we make. We are not thinking about the appointment, the meeting, or the phonecall. We are fully living in the moment.
3. Meditation
Regular meditation will help us become focused. The meditation I’m practicing is to focus on my breath.
Our mind is always in the state of thinking. Every event, happening or word has an effect on our mind, which produces thoughts accordingly. Our mind focuses on one subject for a while, then jumps to another subject, then again to another one, restlessly and ceaselessly.
We take the thinking state of our mind for granted, without knowing that we are enslaved by our own thoughts. The nature of our mind is not incessant thinking, but peace and serenity. The nature of our mind is like the clear and sunny sky, and our thoughts are the clouds. The clouds hide and drift through the sky, in one kind or another.
In order to attain inner peace, we need to take control and be the master of our mind. By controling our mind, we’ll be able to cease the incessant flow of thoughts, and decide which thought to think and which one to reject.
Here are some ways of controling our mind that I’m practicing.
- Live in the moment
Concentrate our mind on one subject at a time, easing ourselves from worrying about future or immersing in the past.
- Think positively
It’s a slow process but powerful mindset. Try to frequetly envision ourselves in a desired state or achievement.
- Practice meditation, Taichi or Yoga
Meditation, Taichi or Yoga are proved to train our mind to be focused, concentrated and calm.
Attaining inner peace is not achieved in a short period of time. It needs constant endeavor. It requires our patience and perseverance. Once we are free from worry, fear, anger, and so many other negative emotions, all efforts are worthwhile.
7. Ecology: What will you gain or lose in achieving this goal?
-
Will you lose anything that you now have by achieving this goal? This means thinking about your goal in a holistic sense, including its effects on your other goals, other areas of your life and how it might affect other people you care for.
-
E.g. “Am I ready for a promotion as I become a competent presenter?” “How will my success affect my current working buddies?” “I will need to spend more time and money on this endeavor, which will mean lesser time for myself and my family, am I prepared for it?”
8. Worthwhile: What will achieving this outcome get for you? Or what is so important to you about achieving this outcome?
-
When we are clear about how our outcome will fulfill the important things that we value, we will obviously be more motivated to do it.
9. Action: What and when is your first step in getting this goal into motion?
-
Knowing what to do is not as important as doing what you know. Break your goal down to manageable steps and take action now.
-
E.g. “I’ve got to go now, and fill up the registration form for the Trainer’s training.”
Those 9 steps are sure to make your goals achievable as they help you write out your goal in detail, think about the prevetions, and set a definite date and a clear action plan, which lead you step by step to your goal. Let’s act on them and act now!
4. Context: Where, When & with Whom do you want it?
-
Under what situations do I want to use this outcome? Do I want this outcome “all” the time? With whom do I want it? When do I want this outcome to materialize?
- E.g. “When I see myself in a conference or seminar room, I will wak tall and project my voice with calmness and clarity. I am confident, for I have studied all the necessary information and arranged all the presentation materials.”
5. Preventing: What stops you from already having your goal?
-
Knowing what usually stops you from achieving your goal helps you formulate strategies to overcome it and become aware of those potholes.
- E.g. “Setting out the right amount of time to prepare all the necessary arrangements and rehearse my presentation.
6. Resources: What resources do you already have that will assist ou in reaching your goal? What other resources do you need?
-
Find existing resources——”I can make full use of the experiences from my past presentations. And I already know what mistakes to avoid and what important points to emphasize. I can learn from John who has years of experience in this sort of presentation.”
-
Additional resources——”I need to find ways to have full control of my voice and build a solid belief that I’ve got what it takes to succeed.” “I want to join the Trainer’s Course to learn advanced skills and create opportunities for me to practice.”
We like to set goals. Meanwhile, we often fail to achieve them eventually. Sometimes, it’s because at the very beginning, we didn’t give our goals a clear picture. Our goals are too vague or too abstract. Think about those goals, “I don’t want to be nervous”, “I want to lose weight this year”, “I want to be positive”, etc. They are hard to achieve, aren’t they? In order to make our goals achievable, we may give a try the following method in NLP.
1. Positively Stated: What exactly do you want?
-
Make sure your goal is stated in terms of what you want, not what you don’t want.
- E.g. “I don’t want to be nervous”. Then all that you think of will be nervousness. Instead, try to set a goal like this, “I want to be carm.”
-
Pick one goal at a time and elaborate it. Which goal, when attained, will have the largest influence on all the rest?
2. Control: Can you achieve this goal yourself, no matter what other people do?
-
Make sure your goal is stated in a way that you get it yourself, leaving no room for blaming other people or circumstances.
- E.g. “I want to stop panicking when the audience doesn’t respond me.” We have no control over them, do we? Instead, set it like this, “I will remain in a calm and resourceful state when the audience doesn’t respond, and objectively use other well-thought-out questions to induce their involvement with me.”
3. Evidence: How will you know when you’ve got your goal?
-
Imagine achieving your goal now, what will you see, hear or feel? Put yourself into the future and fully experience it. Think about the performance criteria and ongoing feedbacks.
- E.g. “I know I’ve achieved my goal when I feel confident” is not specific. The right evidence is “When I see clients asking me for an appointment after my presentation, and I hear myself answering all their questions in a calm and firm voice.”
I was once again touched and inspired by the story of Beethoven.
Check it here. Enjoy and keep inspired!
Btw, slideshare is a very good website, you can find the outlines of many books there as well.
Many a time when we are told such pep talks as “Be positive”, “Be persistent”, or ”Just do it”, without any thought we may answer, “It’s easier said than done.”
Is it really the case? Then why did many other people make it?
Have you remembered that, every time after you said or just thought it’s easier said than done, what did you do? Nothing, perhaps. We just continued our discontented life and kept complaining.
We don’t want to do it as it sounds difficult and may need a lot of efforts. “Easier said than done” becomes the best excuse for us. Deep in our heart, we want to get the result or achievement effortlessly or in a day. But as we all know, it’s not realistic. “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Every change comes little by little, day by day.
However, changes can come naturally eventually and last long if we develop them as a habit.
I used to be a very negative and vulnerable person. When I decided to change, I set two rules for myself.
First, always look forward to the good things as well as think about all the worst things that could happen. If you can give every possibility a thought and make measures accordingly, there’s nothing to worry about.
Second, if something bad really happens, find out the positive sides in it. Hardship, misfortune or failure is the best way for us to grow.
I used those two rules in every aspect of my life. At first, it was a little hard for me. Gradually, it became my habit so that I’ll always look at the positive sides when anything happens and prepare the worst. I’m much more positive and stronger today.
Everything can be achieved as long as you make efforts day by day and develop it into a habit. Nothing is easier said than done.
Recent Comments