(by Jim Rohn)

One of the major reasons why we fail to find happiness or to create unique lifestyle is because we have not yet mastered the art of being.

While we are home our thoughts are still absorbed with solving the challenges we face at the office. And when we are at the office we find ourselves worrying about problems at home.

We go through the day without really listening to what others are saying to us. We may be hearing the words, but we aren’t absorbing the message.

As we go through the day we find ourselves focusing on past experiences or future possibilities. We are so involved in yesterday and tomorrow that we never even notice that today is slipping by.

We go through the day rather than getting something from the day. We are everywhere at any given moment in time except living in that moment in time.

Lifestyle is learning to be wherever you are. It is developing a unique focus on the current moment, and drawing from it all of the substance and wealth of experience and emotions that it has to offer. Lifestyle is taking time to watch a sunset. Lifestyle is listening to silence. Lifestyle is capturing each moment so that it becomes a new part of what we are and of what we are in the process of becoming. Lifestyle is not something we do; it is something we experience. And until we learn to be there, we will never master the art of living well.

I was not a “present” person. When I was younger, I always gazed at somewhere, pondering while I was with people. I was occupied with all the worries and problems I had on my mind. I was there physically but not mentally. Being wrapped up in my own mind and not present with those who were with me, didn’t help solve the problems at all. In fact it made me more worried.

Today, I don’t need to think if I’m present when I’m with the other person or a group. It just comes to me whenever I’m with people. It makes me so focused and get things done efficiently and effectively. I’m also happier when I’m with people as all my focus is on them, leaving no room for worry and pondering on problems.

As I reflect, here is what worked for me the most. I hope you’ll find it helpful.

• Set clear intentions before meeting people or doing any activity.

Intention here refers to be more conscious about what you want to do when interacting with others, instead of going to an occasion or event and being clueless; and what kind of mood you are going to carry.

For example, I was sharing this with a friend in Nov 2009 whom I just met back then. “Interesting. What was your intention for today’s meet-up?” My friend asked me.

“Funny you brought it up. I did set my intention before I came. It was to get to know you better, your work, what you like doing, etc. The mood I set was relaxing and fun.”

“Yeah, we sure did have fun.”

.

Setting clear intentions is also what I do before I give any presentation, training or coaching sessions.  I usually take 3-5 minutes in advance, drop anything, close my eyes, and think about my intentions for a particular session. One of the intentions is “To make sure the audience understand three key points and to let them learn with fun. I’m going to be very focused and observant on their understanding through facial expressions and their progress.”

It helped me be present and made almost every session I did a success.

In the longer term, that’s what makes “being present” a habit for me. Tony Robbins said, “Something once becomes a habit, it’s powerful.” I agree. Now I don’t even need to think about whether I’m present or not, when I’m with people, it just turns on like the sound of a click.

I believe the reason that setting intentions before hand works is that it sinks into our subconscious mind and guides us without us even knowing it.

Being present is powerful. When you are present, you exude energy and draw people in. Whatever line you are in, it’ll bring you success and joy.

What will you start with?

In this festive season, I would like to extend my gratitude to you, my dear reader.

Thank you for reading my posts and leaving your comments, which kept my momentum to continue writing and sharing.

Thank you for your openness to new ideas and thank you for even just stopping by.

From my professional and personal journey, I’ve realized gratitude is the key to staying positive and road to happiness. In two of my most difficult times, it was counting the blessings in my life that lifted
me up and make me stay appreciative to life.

May we all stay grateful and have great festive celebrations!

Watched the movie A Few Good Men again. It is a story about a young lawyer named Danny (starred by Tom Cruise) going through struggles from just wanting to get over a case to standing for the two defendants under great pressure of charging against the top officer (starred by Jack Nicholson) of Guantanamo Bay Naval Base in Cuba.

What struck me and inspired me was that of Danny and Joanne, Naval investigator and lawyer (starred by Demi Moore),  doing all they can and standing for the weak, for the innocent, and for the truth.

We may not have the chance of experiencing that extreme of standing for the weak and the innocent. There are, however, situations where it may be to speak up for a colleague who is being misunderstood by your boss or other co-workers; where it may be to stand out and save a child’s life at the risk of being perceived as an accomplice, just like the one happened in GuangDong province, China; and where it may be to stand up to report a potential danger that exists in your office that could lead to a fire, like the one happened in a business building in Singapore.

In those situations, your position might be endangered, you might get misunderstood or even get charged, if you choose to stand up and speak up for the weak, the innocent and the truth. Will you still stand for it? Or you’d rather protect yourself with the thought that someone else would stand up and speak up? What if all of us are thinking the same way? How would you feel if the weak and the innocent were you and no one stood up and spoke up for you?

I saw a little girl walking with her parents the other day and felt so heart-wrenching, “It’s difficult to imagine a girl just like her was run over and 16 passers-by just ignored and walked away.”  It is easy to blame all those passers-by when the incident is over and make ourselves sound noble. To be honest, I really don’t know what I would do if I were there. I made a decision, when I found out I didn’t know what I would do, that I’m going to stand up in situations where the weak, the innocent and the truth are in need. There is truth and it needs someone to uncover it. Instead of hoping someone else to do it, why not let ourselves be the person? I’ll stand for the truth, no matter how difficult it may get. Will you stand for it?

.

Serenity, freedom and bliss exist within us all along, but await us to discover it, through layers and layers of disharmony, incongruity and imbalance that have been wrapping around. It’s a journey of clearing the dusts and one day you finally get to see your inner purity shining through.

.

Journeying inward requires us to align ourselves physically, cultivate our compassion and free ourselves from attachment and obsession. Find your light inside that shines out and illuminates all that around you.

Joy and sorrow, love and hatred, success and failure …

There is not a life where only one of them exists. Their co-existence makes our lives in balance. You experience one and will definitely experience the other. Without sorrow, how will you know what is joy? Without hatred, how do you know you are experiencing love? Without having failed, you’ll never know what the fruit of success tastes like.

We do all that we can and spend time and energy pursuing joy, love and success, the so-called perfect life. When life doesn’t turn out the way we wanted, we think we have an imperfect life. What a shame.

We forgot a life that presents both joy and sorrow, both love and hatred, both success and failure IS the perfect life. We didn’t know we ARE having a perfect life at this moment. Whatever you are experiencing in your life at this moment, laughters or tears, loneliness or being accompanied, challenges and difficulties, it is perfect ’cause the perfect life is a life that is seemingly imperfect.

Understanding that, we open the door to acceptance and appreciation, accepting whatever life presents to us and appreciating every moment in our lives. That’s when we start to live in the moment.

From morning till now,a weird feeling has been wrapping around me. My mind was scattered and floating around, as if it was separated from my body. I lost the usual solidity and strong sense of purpose for everything I do. I had little idea about what I was doing. The only thing I knew was to follow my schedule.

As I finished my appointment, I started to figure where this strange feeling came from; what was it that made me drift. It couldn’t become clearer as I reflected back. It was the experience of the nearly black-out happened yesterday. I’m so affected by it, physically and emotionally. It’s the post-blackout scare.

I am a pretty healthy person. I had seldom experience that extreme situation where you suddenly feel breathless, no matter how hard you try you just feel a great insufficiency of air, where your heart is beating fast, your brain is about to lose consciousness, and you feel completely helpless. Gosh, I had never knew this kind of feeling and I had never experienced that fast heart-beat (even to someone I was attracted to). It was such a helpless experience. It gave me so much post-blackout scare that I must write it out and release them.

This extreme experience made me understand the suffering dying people and people with hard-to-cure diseases may undergo. It made me take greater care about myself and greater cautiousness before I jump into anything.

Oh~~ May we all take good care of ourselves. Amen.

“In the solitude to which every man is always returning, he has a sanity and revelations, which in his passage into new worlds he will carry with him.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

.

Solitude is being alone without feeling lonely. It is a time that you are engaged with yourself and fully present.

Octavio Paz says, “Solitude is the profoundest fact of the human condition.” In this quiet and alone time, you start to grow your awareness in yourself and things around you, start to reflect what happened in your life and start to appreciate the beauty that has always been around you.

Solitude brings you clarity, calmness and courage through reflection, awareness and appreciation.

In solitude, there’s no poverty but richness. Solitude restores, replenishes and renews you.

Set aside some quiet time, sit alone and do things you like.

What do you do to cultivate your solitude? Share your thoughts in the comment.

.

This piece of art came to my mind while writing this post. Take some time for yourself while enjoying Loreena’s ethereal voice up from the heaven.

“Happiness is found not by seeking to quench our desires & cravings,” but by looking inward to find peace.

Do you know the Great Red Spot (GRS) in the planet Jupiter? It is a turbulent windstorm, like a hurricane on our planet Earth, and it’s rotating counter-clockwise. It is so huge that three Earths could fit within its boundaries just nice!

What amazes me is not how huge the GRS is, but what happens inside of the GRS. It is total calmness inside of the GRS! Nothing is affected by the violent storms outside. Scientists say, if you fly inside of the GRS, you’ll have a very pleasant trip!

Using the GRS as a metaphor to look at ourselves, whatever happens outside of us, if we could remain a state of peacefulness inside of us, imagine how pleasant our inner journey will be! With the calmness inside of the GRS, you can fly as high and as far as you want. With the peacefulness inside of you, you can achieve whatever you want to achieve. It is not how powerful you try to project to the outside world; it is how peaceful you hold inside of yourself.

Some wise mind said, ”Happiness is found not by seeking to quench our desires & cravings.” I would add “but by looking inward to find peace.”

May we all find that peacefulness inside.

Leave you with a song from my favorite singer for your Spiritual Sunday.

For your interest.

More on Wikipedia: Great Red Spot